Katie Ladner, Alice Lee, Jessica Keenan Wynn, Barrett Wilbert Weed, & Elle McLemore - Beautiful
[VERONICA, spoken]
September 1st, 1989
Dear diary
I believe I'm a good person
You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—
Here we are, first day of senior year!
And, uh, I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself — what happened?
[KIDS]
Freak, slut, burnout, bug-eyes, poser, lard-ass
[VERONICA]
We were so tiny, happy and shiny
Playing tag and getting chased
[KIDS]
Freak, slut, loser, shortbus
[VERONICA]
Singing and clapping, laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste
[KIDS]
Bull-dyke, stuck-up, hunchback
[VERONICA]
Then we got bigger, that was the trigger
Like the Huns invading Rome
[MALE STUDENT, spoken]
Huh
[VERONICA, spoken]
Ugh! Oh, sorry
[VERONICA]
Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school
This is the Thunderdome
Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon
[KIDS]
White trash
[VERONICA]
College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June
But I know, I know life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray for a better way
If we changed back then, we could change again
We can be beautiful
[]
[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
Ow!
[VERONICA]
Just not today
[VERONICA, spoken]
Hey, are you okay?
[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
Get away, nerd
[VERONICA, spoken]
Oh, okay
[KIDS]
Freak, slut, cripple, homo, homo, homo
[VERONICA]
Things will get better soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown
Wake from this coma, take my diploma
Then I can blow this town
Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés
[]
[RAM, spoken]
Watch it
[VERONICA]
Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze
[]
[RAM, spoken]
Oops
[VERONICA, spoken]
Ram Sweeney
Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick
[RAM, spoken]
What did you say to me, skank?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Aah, nothing
[VERONICA, , ]
But I know, I know (I know, I know)
Life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray (I pray, I pray)
We were kind before (Ooh)
We can be kind once more (Ooh)
We can be beautiful (Ooh, beautiful)
[]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Agh! Hey, Martha
[MARTHA, spoken]
Hey
[]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Martha Dunnstock, my best friend since diapers
[MARTHA, spoken]
We on for movie night?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail
[MARTHA, spoken]
I rented The Princess Bride
[VERONICA, spoken]
Ho-ho-ho, again?
Wait, don't you have it memorized by now?
[MARTHA, spoken]
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending
[KURT, spoken]
Martha Dumptruck
Wide load, honk!
[KURT KELLY knocks the tray from MARTHA'S hands]
[KURT, spoken]
Haha!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Kurt Kelly, quarterback
He is the smartest guy on the football team
Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf
[KURT, spoken]
Haha, aright!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Hey! Pick that up, right now
[KURT, spoken]
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Yes, I am
I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend
You're a high school has-been waiting to happen
A future gas station attendant
[KURT, spoken]
You have a zit right there
[KURT and KIDS laugh]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Dear diary
[VERONICA]
Why?
[HIPSTER DORK]
Why do they hate me?
[REPUBLICAN GIRL]
Why don't I fight back?
[KURT]
Why do I act like such a creep?
[VERONICA]
Why?
[MARTHA]
Why won't he date me?
[RAM]
Why did I hit him?
[STONER CHICK, MS. FLEMING & BLOW-DRIED PREPPY]
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
[VERONICA]
Why?
[KIDS]
Somebody hug me
Somebody fix me
Somebody save me
[KIDS & VERONICA]
Send me a sign, God
Give me some hope here
Something to live for
[The three HEATHERS enter]
[KIDS]
Ah-ah, Heather, Heather and Heather
[VERONICA, spoken]
And then there's the Heathers, they float above it all
[KIDS]
I love Heather, Heather and Heather
I hate Heather, Heather and Heather
[VERONICA, spoken]
Heather McNamara, head cheerleader
Her dad is loaded — he sells engagement rings
[KIDS]
I want Heather, Heather and Heather
[VERONICA, spoken]
Heather Duke, runs the yearbook
No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants
[KIDS]
I need Heather, Heather—
[VERONICA, spoken]
And Heather Chandler, the Almighty
She is a mythic bitch
They're solid Teflon — never bothered, never harassed
I would give anything to be like that
[KIDS]
Mmm
[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
I'd like to be their boyfriend
[KIDS]
That would be beautiful
Mmm
[STONER CHICK, spoken]
If I sat at their table, guys would notice me
[KIDS]
So beautiful
Ooh
[MARTHA, spoken]
I'd like them to be nicer
[KIDS]
That would be beautiful
Ooh
[BELEAGUERED GEEK, spoken]
I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats
[VERONICA enters the girls' bathroom.]
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Grow up, Heather, bulimia's so '87
[HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken]
Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
Ah, Heather and Heather
[EATHER DUKE vomits]
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
...and Heather
Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting
You're late for class
[VERONICA scribbles on a piece of paper]
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Heather wasn't feeling well, we're helping her
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
Not without a hall pass, you're not
Week's detention
[VERONICA, spoken]
Um, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass
Yearbook committee
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
I see you're all listed
Hurry up and get where you're going
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Uh, Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
What boon?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Um, let me sit at your table, at lunch
Just once, no talking necessary
If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone
[The HEATHERS laugh]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
How about prescriptions?
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Shut up, Heather
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Sorry, Heather
[]
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure
[HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken]
And a symmetrical face
If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves
That's very important
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
And you know, you know, you know?
This could be beautiful
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss
And we're on our way
Get this girl some blush
And Heather, I need your brush
Let's make her beautiful
[HEATHER DUKE]
Let's make her beautiful
[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Let's make her beautiful
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Make her beautiful
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Okay?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Okay
[KURT]
Out of my way, geek
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
I don't want trouble
[RAM]
You're gonna die at 3 pm
[REPUBLICANETTE & NEW WAVE GIRL]
Don't you dare touch me
Get away, pervert
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
What did I ever do to them?
[KIDS]
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this
I think I'm dying
[MS. FLEMING]
Who's that with Heather?
[]
[KIDS, spoken]
Woah
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather
[REPUBLICANETTE & NEW WAVE GIRL]
And someone
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather
[GOWAN & COACH]
And a babe
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather
[MARTHA, spoken]
Veronica?
[KIDS]
Veronica, Veronica, Veronica
[THE HEATHERS part, revealing a smoking hot VERONICA who has been given a makeover]
[VERONICA, , ]
And you know, you know, you know ()
Life can be
You hope, you dream, you pray ()
And you get your way ()
Ask me how it feels
Lookin' like hell on wheels ()
My God, it's beautiful ()
I might be beautiful ()
And when you're beautiful ()
It's a beautiful frickin' day
Heather, Heather, Heather, Veronica (Hey-yeah)
Heather, Heather, HeatherVeronica, Veronica, Veronica, Veronica, Veronica
September 1st, 1989
Dear diary
I believe I'm a good person
You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—
Here we are, first day of senior year!
And, uh, I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself — what happened?
[KIDS]
Freak, slut, burnout, bug-eyes, poser, lard-ass
[VERONICA]
We were so tiny, happy and shiny
Playing tag and getting chased
[KIDS]
Freak, slut, loser, shortbus
[VERONICA]
Singing and clapping, laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste
[KIDS]
Bull-dyke, stuck-up, hunchback
[VERONICA]
Then we got bigger, that was the trigger
Like the Huns invading Rome
[MALE STUDENT, spoken]
Huh
[VERONICA, spoken]
Ugh! Oh, sorry
[VERONICA]
Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school
This is the Thunderdome
Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon
[KIDS]
White trash
[VERONICA]
College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June
But I know, I know life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray for a better way
If we changed back then, we could change again
We can be beautiful
[]
[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
Ow!
[VERONICA]
Just not today
[VERONICA, spoken]
Hey, are you okay?
[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
Get away, nerd
[VERONICA, spoken]
Oh, okay
[KIDS]
Freak, slut, cripple, homo, homo, homo
[VERONICA]
Things will get better soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown
Wake from this coma, take my diploma
Then I can blow this town
Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés
[]
[RAM, spoken]
Watch it
[VERONICA]
Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze
[]
[RAM, spoken]
Oops
[VERONICA, spoken]
Ram Sweeney
Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick
[RAM, spoken]
What did you say to me, skank?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Aah, nothing
[VERONICA, , ]
But I know, I know (I know, I know)
Life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray (I pray, I pray)
We were kind before (Ooh)
We can be kind once more (Ooh)
We can be beautiful (Ooh, beautiful)
[]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Agh! Hey, Martha
[MARTHA, spoken]
Hey
[]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Martha Dunnstock, my best friend since diapers
[MARTHA, spoken]
We on for movie night?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail
[MARTHA, spoken]
I rented The Princess Bride
[VERONICA, spoken]
Ho-ho-ho, again?
Wait, don't you have it memorized by now?
[MARTHA, spoken]
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending
[KURT, spoken]
Martha Dumptruck
Wide load, honk!
[KURT KELLY knocks the tray from MARTHA'S hands]
[KURT, spoken]
Haha!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Kurt Kelly, quarterback
He is the smartest guy on the football team
Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf
[KURT, spoken]
Haha, aright!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Hey! Pick that up, right now
[KURT, spoken]
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Yes, I am
I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend
You're a high school has-been waiting to happen
A future gas station attendant
[KURT, spoken]
You have a zit right there
[KURT and KIDS laugh]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Dear diary
[VERONICA]
Why?
[HIPSTER DORK]
Why do they hate me?
[REPUBLICAN GIRL]
Why don't I fight back?
[KURT]
Why do I act like such a creep?
[VERONICA]
Why?
[MARTHA]
Why won't he date me?
[RAM]
Why did I hit him?
[STONER CHICK, MS. FLEMING & BLOW-DRIED PREPPY]
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
[VERONICA]
Why?
[KIDS]
Somebody hug me
Somebody fix me
Somebody save me
[KIDS & VERONICA]
Send me a sign, God
Give me some hope here
Something to live for
[The three HEATHERS enter]
[KIDS]
Ah-ah, Heather, Heather and Heather
[VERONICA, spoken]
And then there's the Heathers, they float above it all
[KIDS]
I love Heather, Heather and Heather
I hate Heather, Heather and Heather
[VERONICA, spoken]
Heather McNamara, head cheerleader
Her dad is loaded — he sells engagement rings
[KIDS]
I want Heather, Heather and Heather
[VERONICA, spoken]
Heather Duke, runs the yearbook
No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants
[KIDS]
I need Heather, Heather—
[VERONICA, spoken]
And Heather Chandler, the Almighty
She is a mythic bitch
They're solid Teflon — never bothered, never harassed
I would give anything to be like that
[KIDS]
Mmm
[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
I'd like to be their boyfriend
[KIDS]
That would be beautiful
Mmm
[STONER CHICK, spoken]
If I sat at their table, guys would notice me
[KIDS]
So beautiful
Ooh
[MARTHA, spoken]
I'd like them to be nicer
[KIDS]
That would be beautiful
Ooh
[BELEAGUERED GEEK, spoken]
I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats
[VERONICA enters the girls' bathroom.]
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Grow up, Heather, bulimia's so '87
[HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken]
Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
Ah, Heather and Heather
[EATHER DUKE vomits]
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
...and Heather
Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting
You're late for class
[VERONICA scribbles on a piece of paper]
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Heather wasn't feeling well, we're helping her
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
Not without a hall pass, you're not
Week's detention
[VERONICA, spoken]
Um, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass
Yearbook committee
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
I see you're all listed
Hurry up and get where you're going
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Uh, Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
What boon?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Um, let me sit at your table, at lunch
Just once, no talking necessary
If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone
[The HEATHERS laugh]
[VERONICA, spoken]
Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
How about prescriptions?
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Shut up, Heather
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Sorry, Heather
[]
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure
[HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken]
And a symmetrical face
If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves
That's very important
[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
And you know, you know, you know?
This could be beautiful
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss
And we're on our way
Get this girl some blush
And Heather, I need your brush
Let's make her beautiful
[HEATHER DUKE]
Let's make her beautiful
[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Let's make her beautiful
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Make her beautiful
[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
Okay?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Okay
[KURT]
Out of my way, geek
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
I don't want trouble
[RAM]
You're gonna die at 3 pm
[REPUBLICANETTE & NEW WAVE GIRL]
Don't you dare touch me
Get away, pervert
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
What did I ever do to them?
[KIDS]
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this
I think I'm dying
[MS. FLEMING]
Who's that with Heather?
[]
[KIDS, spoken]
Woah
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather
[REPUBLICANETTE & NEW WAVE GIRL]
And someone
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather
[GOWAN & COACH]
And a babe
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather
[MARTHA, spoken]
Veronica?
[KIDS]
Veronica, Veronica, Veronica
[THE HEATHERS part, revealing a smoking hot VERONICA who has been given a makeover]
[VERONICA, , ]
And you know, you know, you know ()
Life can be
You hope, you dream, you pray ()
And you get your way ()
Ask me how it feels
Lookin' like hell on wheels ()
My God, it's beautiful ()
I might be beautiful ()
And when you're beautiful ()
It's a beautiful frickin' day
Heather, Heather, Heather, Veronica (Hey-yeah)
Heather, Heather, HeatherVeronica, Veronica, Veronica, Veronica, Veronica
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